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Commission info (CLOSED FOR NOW)

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 17, 2014, 2:36 PM
It's been a while since I've taken commissions and I finally have the time to take a few slots!

Before ordering a commission, please read my terms of service!: inku-inku.livejournal.com/970.…

Bellow is an updated commission information.
I'll be taking around 5-7 slots each round, depending on the type of commission.

___________________

Commission Queue:

1. :iconkamakru: - ACEO - confirmed
2. :iconnyrina: - ACEO - confirmed
3. :iconbluehunter: - ACEO - confirmed
4. :iconteiirka: - A4 illustration - confirmed
5.  :iconteiirka: - ACEO - confirmed
6. :iconsvarta-perlan: - Bookmark -

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ACEO [
2.5''x3.5''/6.4x8.9 cm]

Miniature card done on thick watercolor paper. Works best for portraits, busts and surreal compositions.
Sent in a protective sleeve.

Cappies - ACEO by Inku-inku Merkitten - ACEO by Inku-inku Shwish - ACEO by Inku-inku

Price: 15$
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Bookmark [2.4''x5.1''/6x13 cm]

Painted bookmark done on thick watercolor paper. Works best with busts.
Sent in a protective sleeve with a ribbon.

Masked Spirits - Bookmarks by Inku-inku
Qzurr - Bookmark by Inku-inku Sixteen Stars - bookmark by Inku-inku Moontouched - bookmark by Inku-inku


Price: 25$
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Colored pencil portrait [4.1''x5.9''/10.5x15 cm]

A detailed pencil portrait of your character or pet done on pastel paper. Slight background elements may be added.
Price depends on design complexity. Non-human animals only.

Arch-Mage Khismirr by Inku-inku Root of Delirium by Inku-inku Root of Dementia by Inku-inku Wild Feather by Inku-inku

Price: 40$
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A5 sized illustration [4.1''x5.9''/10.5x15 cm]

Fully detailed medium sized painting done on watercolor paper or on sepia colored paper.
Works with bust, full body and surreal compositions, with abstract or moderately detailed backgrounds.
Price depends on design complexity and the desired amount of background detail.

 Complaint Department by Inku-inku Our World by Inku-inku Star Child by Inku-inku Heavy as Mountains by Inku-inku

 

Price: 50-65$
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A4 sized illustration [8.3''x11.7''/21x29.7 cm]

Fully detailed painting done on watercolor paper or on sepia colored paper.
Works with full body and surreal compositions, with background detail varying from abstract to highly detailed.
Price depends on design complexity and the desired amount of background detail.

Twists of Fate by Inku-inku The Wilderness by Inku-inku Pathfinder by Inku-inku
Vigilance by Inku-inku Autumn Gallop by Inku-inku Serenity by Inku-inku

Price:
80-95$
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What I will/will not do


I do best with fantasy creatures and humans, animals, anthro/furry, surreal and spiritual artwork.
I'm always eager to try new things and if you have something in mind (subject, medium or format) that is not on the list, feel free to contact me!
I will not accept commissions of an explicit sexual nature, extreme violence/gore, hateful/racist subjects, realistic human portraits and very complex machinery/architecture.


Payment Information

Payment will be made in USD through PayPal only.
Please read the ToS for further information.


Framing

The finished commission may be framed in a simple wood frame with matting for an additional fee.
Colored pencil portrait/A5 sized illustration framing price: 15$
A4 sized illustration framing price: 25$


Shipping Information

Shipping price for unframed artwork: 5$
Shipping price for framed artwork: Varies by country.
Insurance not included in the price.
All original artworks are secured as best as possible to prevent damage.
Please read the ToS for further information.


Turnaround Time

The time to finish each artwork varies depending on size, design complexity and the number of commission slots.
For smaller works (ACEOs, Bookmarks) the estimated time is usually between three weeks to a month.
For A5 and A4 illustrations the times vary between a month to 3 months.
If you have a deadline in mind, please let me know in advance. Extremely tight deadlines may require additional payment.


Contact Information

For any questions regarding commissions, please send me a note via DeviantArt or an email to Jenny.shukin [at] gmail.com

Body why you do this.

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 22, 2014, 5:35 AM
Hello all.

I've been in the hospital a few days ago after passing out at home from unbearable abdominal pain.
The doctors suspect peptic ulcer(s?). This is extremely odd since I usually keep a fairly healthy diet and tested negative for Helicobacter Pylori :s. Unfortunately for me, I'll have to wait a while before my gastroscopy test and a valid diagnosis. Too many patients for too few doctors.
Right now I'm home in bed with different meds that seem to help with the pain slightly. Keeping a positive attitude is really a struggle but I try my best..

 I hope to get better and stronger as I have lots of works in progress and I'm very motivated art-wise in general.

Wish you good health and a pleasant week!

  • Drinking: Nasty chamomile tea

Life updates etc.

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 8, 2014, 9:07 AM
It's been a little while since I've wrote a journal entry of a more 'personal' kind, so here we go :>.

I've finished my army service two months ago, in January. Being a person of habit and disliking changes, the first two weeks were a NIGHTMARE for me. I was quite a nerve-wreck, and my anxiety symptoms became a day-to-day struggle. No motivation to draw, no motivation to get a job, I felt very lost and empty, as silly as it may sound.
Luckily, I've found a temporary job through an officer from my unit as a lawyer's PA in February, and life changed to a brighter side. Guess I just needed another "structured" activity to pour myself into.
I've also started to volunteer at a wild-animal hospital on the weekends, which is incredibly inspirational and refreshing for me, something I've always wanted to do but simply had no time for.

I've wrote in a previous journal that I'll be open for commissions in March, but as it turns out I would have to postpone it for a few months - my boss and his girlfriend intend to make an exhibition for my works, after purchasing a framed painting and considering to commission me for another.  I'm extremely grateful and excited. Hopefully, their plans will come true.
(I do have a few old works for sale still, though, take a peek if you're interested: inku-inku.deviantart.com/journ… )

Another thing is a local fantasy/sci-fi I'll be attending in a month or so, selling prints of my artwork and handmade plushies I'll be making with my mother in between works. This is the first con I'll be selling my artwork at a con and I hope it goes well : ).
I'll also be filling my Stonenvy and Etsy shops with prints after the con.

Education-wise, I'll be applying to a few art academies in Germany in the field of illustration. Be ready for a series of a few book illustrations in the next few months, as I'll be readying and finalizing my portfolio/(s). Hopefully, I'll get accepted and also be fluent enough in German to make things easier.

Onwards to a hopefully happy future.

I wish you all a pleasant week.

  • Mood: Eager
  • Drinking: Tea

Old Artwork for sale! Discount prices

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 2, 2014, 10:33 AM
Since I am still not ready to reopen my commissions, I have decided to do a spring cleaning of my old works.
These works are not framed.
The prices include shipping costs.
For these particular works, the prices are lower than my normal rates, so, if you would like to grab an original artwork from me for a discount price, now is the time.

Feel free to comment here, note me or contact me at Jenny.schukin [at] gmail.com


_______________________________________________________________________________

"Eyes of Amber" - [2.3''x5'']


Eyes of amber - bookmark by Inku-inku

A mini portrait of an arctic wolf, done with watercolors and acrylic on watercolor paper.

Price: 15$


SOLD

________________________________________________________________

"Ghostfeather" - [3.5''x5.1'']

Ghostfeather by Inku-inku

A small portrait of a fox, done with watercolors, acrylic and pencils on watercolor paper.

Price: 20$


SOLD

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"Observing" - [6.3''x8.9'']

Observing by Inku-inku

A medium sized painting done on tea and coffee dyed paper of lady-werewolf stalked by a savage wildling.

Price: 30$

________________________________________________________________


"Icy Blue" - [6.3''x8.9'']

Icy Blue by Inku-inku

A medium sized watercolor portrait of a snarly, icy creature.

Price: 30$

________________________________________________________________

"Truth" - [7.8''x11.4'']

Truth by Inku-inku

A painting of an ominous, all-seeing crow spirit. Done with inks and watercolors.

Price: 45$

________________________________________________________________

"Realm of Life" - [11''x8.2'']

Realm of Life by Inku-inku

A work from 2011. A painting of a dragon with a young, blind doe. Done with watercolors and inks.

Price: 50$

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"Soul Thieves" - [8.2''x11'']


Soul Thieves by Inku-inku

A surreal, foggy scene of a vulpine sorcerer and his companion, stealing the soul of a wyrm.

Price: 55$

_______________________________________________________________________________

:bulletwhite: Payment will be made in USD through PayPal only.
:bulletwhite: All original artworks are secured as best as possible to prevent damage. I cannot take responsibility or issue a refund for lost or damaged mail.
:bulletwhite: The price does not cover insurance. Insurance prices vary from country to country. If you're interested in insurance for a parcel, I will check the insurance rates applicable in the country of delivery.

♦</b></b>

  • Drinking: Tea

Daily Deviation!!! + Mini-feature

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 25, 2014, 8:16 AM
The anniversary gift I've painted for my beloved got featured as a Daily Deviation today!
It's my 4th DD and I'm really not sure if I truly deserve to have so many but I'm very delighted and euphoric either way.


Our World by Inku-inku

Thank you so much :iconartbycher: for featuring it, and also big thanks to anyone who commented/fav'd or added me to their watchlist. You've made my day!

On another note, I'll be opening a few commission slots sometime next month :].
__________________________________________________________________________________

Here is a little feature of wonderful works from my favorites:

 Knight of Wayne by Seyorrol Changes by RovinaCai Snow Bison by lonelybadger Miles To Go by RovinaCai The Cold Star by yanadhyana
Rapt in His Dreams by richardcgreen Family Tree by ellaine Owl Commission by MistiqueStudio
Autumn's Fading by TrollGirl  We Fought By the Sword by StephHolmes  Domain by Tatchit  Heart of Darkness by onez82  Seer by Kel-Del





 

  • Mood: Thanks
  • Drinking: Tea

New Year + BIG FEATURE

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 31, 2013, 9:52 AM

I wish all my watchers and fellow artists a blissful New Year!
May all of you accomplish what you couldn't in the past year and continue to create beautiful artwork.

A little update about myself - I'm finishing my army service on January 9th! I'm quite excited, and can't wait to start working on artwork and plans I simply had no time for in the past two years of my service. I would love to make more art of my characters and also of others' characters, dive back into the fantasy/anthropomorphic niche and experiment with other mediums like gouache painting, clay sculpting and perhaps even needle-felting!
(though, after the 9th I'll probably end up gaming/sleeping for minimum two weeks straight before doing anything productive at all :I)

:snowflake:

And now - a feature of some of my favorite works by other artists, all mashed up together.

Please +fav this journal so these artists get the exposure they deserve!

  
Dive by ullakko Kiyohime by TaKe-bamboo Esoteric by MukilteoCasualtie
   pekko by egilthompson     Strandwolf by Fuz-Caforio-Art
Story Time by Camelid Flower to you by APetruk Kelpie by DrunkenUnicorn
Blodeuwedd by DarkLiminality Whispers of the Snake by Seyorrol 14VOLKa () by 25kartinok
Havrana by Ffey The Girl, the Fox, and the Ghost Fish by Trefle-Rouge Knock by Tanith-Larking
Korulintu by Tuonenkalla moonbutterfly by aldafea Her Frozen Majesty by STelari
Ghosts in the Night by CaitlinHackett Divinidad by LuisSanchez Balance by rustymermaid
Guardian of the Night by Flubberwurm The Blizzard Spirit by Obman-Veschestv Jackals and Arabs 3/4 by MadLittleClown
Green and white by usvakorpi spell of time by PatiMakowska Unicorn by Camelid

:snowflake:

    


  • Mood: Eager
  • Drinking: Tea

Back from Moscow!

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 2, 2013, 12:51 PM
Yesterday I returned from a 20-day long trip to Moscow, Russia.
Apart from visiting relatives, I've visited familiar (and less familiar) places. Although I'm not a fan of large cities, the central part of Moscow where I was born has it's (relatively) quiet, lovely and romantic spots.




 Had a lot of time for thinking, relaxation and art-making. I've practiced a lot and finished a few works soon to be posted.
I've also attempted drawing from life at the Moscow Zoo, which proved to be challenging yet very rewarding and enjoyable. Countless art-teachers don't lie - it is definitely one of the very best ways for learning and improving anatomy, proportions, motion.



The weather proved to be a bit problematic and ruined some of my plans. Apart from unusually large amounts of rain it was unbelievably cold for September.



The least enjoyable part of my trip was the bureaucratic procedures of renewing passports and arranging the right papers and contracts for an apartment my late-grandfather inherited to my mother. As much as I love the culture, history, nature and art of Russia and Moscow in particular, I'm glad I don't live there and don't have to deal with the nightmarish, rude attitude of local officials, notaries and such.



Overall, the trip was quite enjoyable and I was simply thrilled to have a lot of time for art-making, even if for a relatively short while. On another note - I'll be finishing my army service in about 3 months, which is quite exciting for me. My service at the IDF didn't start well but ended up being rewarding and challenging. Plus, I've learned a whole lot about myself and my limits and matured greatly.

Oh my, I'm 20.

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 14, 2013, 7:47 AM
So, I've survived yet another year of my life and now I'm 20! Quite exciting.
Many thanks for all the birthday wishes and special thanks to :iconmatthewwolfbane: for gifting me a 3-month Premium Membership!


I woke up to the sound of balloons rubbing against the ceiling and gifts being put around me.



Later I've spent a wonderful time with my family and soon will go to a concert with friends. A very enjoyable weekend awaits me as well. I feel like an overly excited 5-yr old (not at all like a 20-yr old).

I think I also overcame my mini-art-block cause art-making is oh-so-fun once again :>.

Cheers everybody!

Sigh

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 1, 2013, 6:00 AM

Every creative individual has these periods I suppose.

Plainly put, I have no time to make art anymore. Army-work takes about 16 hours of my day, making me absolutely fatigued in the evening. 16 Hours of office work may not seem like much to some, but to me, 16 hours with almost no breaks of dealing with hysterical people and giving support to tens (sometimes over a hundred) people with completely different cases every day is extremely exhausting. When it comes to my 2-day long weekend, I'm obliged to see my family and friends (whom I love). It might sound whiny or even egoistical, but not having enough time for myself, for art-making, gnaws me.

The success and progress of wonderful fellow artists became an unfairly frustrating thing for me to witness, even though it once had been motivating, driving, inspirational. I am deeply ashamed of my bitterness and jealousy, but can't seem to get rid of the feeling for months now.

I hit a wall in my progress it seems and the only way to overcome it would be practice, lots of it. I have the motivation still. I strive for improvement. I have lots of ideas and thumbnail/concept sketches... but not enough time to sit down and work on them seriously.

Luckily for me, there is a very high chance of me visiting Moscow for 20 full days. I'm absolutely thrilled about it and hope to finish many artworks in my stay.


I apologize about my self-ramble.
To anyone waiting for art for me, worry not, I'll do my best to finish your works asap, even if it means drowning myself in energy-drinks and coffee :>.



:+fav: to spread it around.

Strawberry thief by OneCrazyClericThe Wizard Toward Within by BibireOsaera by KaelyceaWuffs by StefanThompsonall's well that ends well by pettryb
Old Goat and Heron Page 1 by 3-haresTriumvirate by BlackSeaFoamA Midsummer Night's Dream 2 by MukilteoCasualtie
TFP: Darkmount beast by Unita-NWar Horse - Death by No87Entropy 31 by Bibirewinter feathers by trollmaidenunder the heart-tree by bubug
____________________________________________________________________

Swamp witch by EsquirolLevitation Holmes by so-ingeniousUpside Down House Looker by ElaineThompsonArt
Bridge in the Park by yanadhyanaThe Lady In Blue by PolaskoForest's whispers by TrollGirlferal by vaenaton


~

Portrait commissions - Closed

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 11, 2013, 12:33 PM
My commission TOS - inku-inku.livejournal.com/970.…

_____

Opening limited slots  of portrait commissions!
Willing to draw any real or fantasy animals/reptiles/birds excluding humans.
The portraits are A5 sized, either painted or drawn.

I'm charging about 6$-7$ per hour.

Slots
1. Rooth (FA) - painted portrait - Finished
2. :iconvashley: - painted portrait - Finished


Painted Portraits- 25$-35$
Single character with slight elements of a background (background will be mostly abstract). Will be done with watercolors, acrylic, mechanical pencil and possibly ink.

Price depends on the complexity of the character.

Cid the Snow Cat by Inku-inkuIcy Blue by Inku-inkuRooth'ragon by Inku-inku
Drawn Portraits- 35$-45$
Single character with slight elements of a background, if at all. Will be done with colored pencils.

Price depends on the complexity of the character.

Root of Delirium by Inku-inkuArch-Mage Khismirr by Inku-inkuRoot of Dementia by Inku-inku


Shipping info
Shipping cost is 5$, I ship worldwide. Shipping times vary for each country. I secure my works well before sending them and include a tracking code for each parcel, and cannot take responsibility for damaged or lost mail (never happened before thank goodness).

~

If you're interested, drop me a note with a reference or a description of your character, desired expression and possible background element (keep in mind that the background will be very subtle and not detailed). Once I have the commission information you provided, I'll send you my PayPal address. I'll start working on the sketch once 50% or more of the payment is received. I'll then show you the uncolored sketch for your approval. I'll start painting once the other 50% of the payment is received.

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  • Drinking: Tea

Happy New Year..!

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 31, 2012, 8:15 AM
Been a while since I've updated this journal and what a nice reason, too!
I wish everyone a happy new year, full of magic and pleasant surprises, constant growth and positive revolutions.

On another note, I'll be re-opening my commissions sometime in January.

Cheers!

________________________________________

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  • Mood: Artistic
  • Drinking: Tea

Back from vacation, 3rd DD!

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 2, 2012, 4:53 AM
I came back from my vacation in Moscow today, and was very surprised to see loads of feedback messages in my inbox :]. Apparently,  my work 'Haze' was featured as a DD, this one being my 3rd. I want to thank everyone who commented, :+fav:'d or watched me, and of course, :iconstelari: for featuring.


Haze by Inku-inku

On the other note, my vacation had many ups and downs, mainly downs, sadly. However, I managed to finish 3 works already, with a few works still in progress, including a very large work (larger than A2 I believe) I'm preparing to work my ass off for.
I won't be much around DeviantArt as I was before, at least until November. Along with my driver's license I plan on taking vocal and guitar lessons again and also volunteer at a local Wildlife hospital. So much to do!

________________________________________

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  • Mood: Tired
  • Drinking: Tea

My Birthday today, going on hiatus.

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 14, 2012, 12:48 PM
It's my birthday today! I'm now 19 :>.
Had a lot of fun today, in spite of celebrating the first few hours at an army base :lol:. Still, my colleagues bought me wonderful gifts, and one of them even wrote me a very touching poem :]. Later on I had lunch in my favorite cafe, and spent the rest of the day with a close friend at home, watching movies, photographing and whatnot. Got tons of wonderful gifts, among them my long waited silver wolf torc-
www.craftycelts.com/Jewelry/To…
inku-inku.tumblr.com/post/2942… .

I'll be off for two weeks to visit my dad in Moscow next Sunday (19.8). I plan on painting a lot, regaining my patience and inspiration, going for long walks around the city and visit the wonderful Moscow zoo.

I also plan on taking a break from DeviantArt and other art sites I'm on till the end of September. Art sites can be a great source of inspiration but at the same time, I want to try a completely neutral approach for my art [as I did once before]. Hopefully I'll be back with lots of new works. I will be working hard to improve many, many things in my art.

Thank you all for your kind birthday wishes!



See you soon.

________________________________________

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  • Mood: Annoyed
  • Drinking: Tea

50k Kiriban + Artschools.

Journal Entry: Mon Jun 11, 2012, 9:50 AM
I'm usually not into Kiribans and never done one before, but here it goes.
Get a screenshot of a 50k pageview on my page and get an A4 sized full body single character with no background (either done with colored pencils or watercolors, your choice). Comment here with your screen shot, first one to comment gets it <:. No cheating!

On another note- As I'm planning on applying to a few art academies abroad, I would love to hear experiences and stories from current or former students [inb4- I'm going to be a starving artist].

Commissions/trades are currently closed. I'll start working on a portfolio soon but apart from study work I would still like to empty my list of ideas in the next few months.

Also, a tiny feature-

:thumb259371788::thumb244807712:YOGHURT by K-E-I-T

________________________________________

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  • Mood: Annoyed
  • Drinking: Tea

A small update.

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 28, 2012, 5:52 AM
It's been over a month since my last journal and I figured I should probably write a little update.

I started doing digital speed paints every day. It's good practice for me, for color and environment studies and of course for different techniques in PS. Right now it all looks sloppy and very amateur, but hopefully with a bit of determination my works will become better. My biggest problem with digitals is the massive headache and sore-eyes I get after painting for an hour or so. I seem to forget how to blink during that hour lol.
I also came to the conclusion I should really try to get a nice and smooth watercolor paper. I'm so used to texture and as much as I love it, there are just some works that would look far better on a smoother paper. The only smooth paper I've tried so far is Canson, which is nice, but seems to be way too soft at times. Suggestions are welcome.

For those who are Beta testers on dA, I'm sure you've all seen the new thumbnail layout Deviantart made. Personally, I really dislike it. The huge thumbnails appear in different numbers on each row, looking unprofessional and sloppy. The horizontal thumbnails look much, much bigger than the vertical ones, making horizontal works pop out leaving the vertical ones a bit.. unnoticed. I really hope dA will make this feature optional or at least will make it look better.

As for my life in the army, I'm doing quite well. It's simple office work, but it's quite different each day and can get very interesting. My job is to work with complaints coming from either whinny (usually whinny) or truly helpless soldiers dealing with abusive officers, unprofessional army doctors and whatnot. Sometimes I have way to much empathy for the complaining soldiers, but apart from that I think this job suits me well.
I plan on taking driving lessons soon, but in the meantime, I enjoy getting to my 'workplace' by bicycle (good for yer butt and leg muscles :giggle:!).  The most important thing is, I can live my life in spite the working regime. It gets very tiresome at times, but I'm getting used to it.

Right now I'm a bit sick, a mild flue I guess. Trying to force myself to paint nevertheless but I doubt I'll be productive until I'm better.

Art status-

:bulletwhite: 2 ACEOs for :iconvashley: - done
:bulletwhite: ACEO trade with :iconmargotshareaza: - done

  • Mood: Content
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Tea

Masking fluid turned into my worst enemy.

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 16, 2012, 11:00 AM
I have just ruined a very nice painting I've been working on for the past few days, all thanks to my masking fluid.
I rarely used it before and didn't like it too much, but wanted to give it a 2nd chance.
It completely tore a layer from the paper where it's been on, sending the nearly finished work into the trash. It's been months since I've made a work that I personally loved, and it was quite painful to see it go that way. I'll try my best to re-draw it since it's quite small and not very detailed, but I doubt it'll be as good as the first version.

I don't think I will ever use masking fluid again.

  • Reading: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Tea

A break.

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 2, 2012, 8:14 AM
Things are a bit unstable right now- I dropped off my course in the army (for many personal reasons), and right now I'm forced to come every morning to our base, sit in our dorms and do whatever I want till I go home in the evening (at least I'm not forced to clean the toilets!). I got many appointments to attend, of various doctors and a psychologist before they decide on another job for me. I'm feeling much better physically but still quite confused and worried, hopefully that will change as soon as they find me a more suitable job and I'll get used to the more stable regime.
I'm really starting to dislike my own personality and my inability to get myself back together. Weakness and fear can really shut a person down, make him feel pathetic and unwilling to do anything. This has been going on for over a month now.
Many things are left unsaid, pressure builds up and the person finally explodes. It's like an on-going hysteria, only a very silent one, making others oblivious of the person's distress.

I don't know if my art is good enough. I don't claim to be a great artist or very talented. Yet still I have my hopes to maybe get into a nice art academy abroad, making a living with my art or art-related things. Now that I'm unable to draw, and it scares me. It makes me feel worthless. Usually when I'm filled with negative emotions it's easier for me to create things, but now I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I need to work on my anatomy, do more practice sketches, get back to working with oils, practice digital art.. and the list goes on. I'll have to work my ass off for a strong portfolio and it feels like I'm wasting precious time. Everything I seem to try lately gets ruined, which only makes me feel worse.

On the other note, even though I don't reply often lately, I still read every comment I get and appreciate the support. It's funny how comments from people you've never even met can you feel better.


tl:dr-
I've decided to take a break from art for a while, until I get myself back together.

  • Reading: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Tea

Things have gotten bad.

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 10, 2012, 9:30 AM
I'm now a month in the army, and things are not doing very well for me. Apart from getting very dizzy quite a few times on the daily basis, I passed out over 10 times in this month. I feel terrible mentally because of this, since we got absolutely no physical tasks/punishments, we sit in class and study most of the day. However, each time we're forced to stand for over 10-15 mins, I pass out, or nearly pass out (usually due to low blood pressure). My officers are aware of this, and allow me to sit sown when I start to feel dizzy. However, I can't help but feel weak and inferior to other girls in my course. Apart from this, I got also UTI (Urinal Tract Infection), which might have progressed into a Kidney Infection. I'll only get the test results by the end of next week.
And to think I was planning on finishing at least 2 paintings this weekend. With me being sick with 39c fever, I doubt I'll be as productive as I wished.

Never before I missed the comfort of my home as much as now. My mom's cooking, my music, my dogs, my cozy room with my fur pelts, computer, and most obviously- my paints and pencils. Even if you do appreciate what you have, the feeling gets much stronger when you're only home for the weekends. I'm forced to grow up, to become more responsible and independent, to become strong. It's very hard for me, not because I'm a spoiled brat, but because of the system I'm 'forced' to grow up at.

On the other note, I really appreciate the support I get here in spite of not being active at all. I read every comment, and it brings me lots of joy. Checking on my inbox at breaks during the week helps me stay inspired for the weekend.

Soon enough I'll be getting home every Thursday instead of Friday, giving me 2.5-3 days of free time. 3 Months of the course to go, and then I'll be home every evening. I try very hard to be optimistic.

Getting drafted tomorrow.

Journal Entry: Mon Jan 9, 2012, 5:59 AM
Tomorrow, the 10th, I'm getting drafted. I have mixed feelings about it like every other person, but happiness and eagerness are certainly not something I feel. I'll serve as a psycho-analyzer, interviewing 10th-11th graders before they finish high school to better understand their mental abilities (couldn't find a better word), and find them the most suitable jobs when they get drafted as well. To be honest, I'm mostly worried about the people I'll meet. Hopefully I'll make some friends, if there will be any people worth making friends with (I sounds like a snob :s). About 2-3 weeks of a boot-camp-like experience await me before I begin my courses and studies as a future psycho-analyzer (all take about 4-5 months).
Perhaps my 2 years of service are a huge waste of time, but it's not like sitting in jail is any better. It's one of the few times in my life when I try to look at the bright side of things and hope for the best. At least I have 2 more years to decide what I wish to do with my life, where to study etc.

It is very likely I'll be returning home every day at around 4-5pm once I finish my courses. Also, since I'm being drafted on Tuesday (we are allowed to stay at home on the weekends), I'll probably be home 2 days after my draft :lol:.

I wanted to finish one last painting before tomorrow, but I really don't feel like painting right now. I apologize if I reply slowly to comments and also less active in general, since it'll be only 4-5 months before I'll have free time other than on the weekends.

On the other note I wanted to thank everyone for their kind feedback. I have nearly 1000 watchers now and it means a lot to me, motivating me even further to improve and be more productive.

:heart:

  • Mood: Anxious
  • Drinking: Tea